Of Human Kindness.

I recently discovered that my primary Love Language is "Acts of Service". This is a change from "Words of Affirmation". I wonder if age/life/circumstance shifts that for people? Like, I imagine being a mother of three...I probably won't be very moved by "you look pretty" (word of affirmation), or a bouquet of flower (gifts) - though make no mistake, I never turn down flowers! - but I imagine I would be moved to tears by a detailed car, or dinner on the table, or clean dishes. Circumstantial Love Languages...

That being said, we relocated the RV last night. We're now up in Spring. It's about 30 miles from our last Adventure Park. It's near where we've been house hunting, closer to the bff and kids (and dog play dates), closer to Rachel's work (whose car is falling apart and gets terrible gas mileage), it's a bit cheaper and WAY quieter and more wooded. It's adds an extra 1-2 hours to my day, but that's life...in Houston.

So, as we were getting the RV ready to be moved, we realized we'd underestimated the room we'd have inside. We put the bikes and patio furniture inside and the kayak on top of Rachel's car and we still had her little Honda Ruckus with no were to go. Why don't you just drive it, you say? It only goes 30 mph....and I-45 was pretty much the only way to get to the new place. Death was imminent, obviously. I went to ask one of our neighbors, whom we hadn't met until that very day, if we could park it at his place until we figured out a plan. And he said, "You know, I don't have much going on tonight, how about I put it in the back of my truck and drive it up there for you?" Murray, you sir, are a gem.

And he did! He wouldn't even let me give him gas money. So, now I have to think of something terribly clever and thoughtful to give him as a thank you. Any ideas??

Also, the guy who transported the RV for us, Charlie, is darling ("yes ma'am", etc.). I would like to find both Charlie and Murray ladyfriends.

We were up until about 11 last night setting everything up and connecting the water and electricity and the pooper. Then I was up at 5:30 + 2 snoozes for my new commute.

We're having an RV (re)Warming BBQ. I don't know if anyone reads this except my mom, Tiffany, and Suzy, but if you want to come play with us, let me know. We've got lakefront property now ;)

xo.

We're Still Here.

Well folks, I first feel I should apologize for my long pause. Life - it just keeps coming at you, you know? Like a freight train. Well, we're still RV-ers. Things have happened since last I wrote.

I got a dog! 

I say I, and not we, because Rachel didn't want a dog...but I think they're starting to grow on each other. Plus, it was destiny and I just couldn't say no. I went with my bff to the lady's house where she got her last dog...and Carmella, one of her recently retired mama dogs, sat on my lap quietly the whole time. She was quiet and still in the midst of 20 other dogs barking and running around, 3 kids yapping and running around, and me, a new person. So, she came home with me and we've been quietly cuddling together ever since. She didn't know her name, so we renamed her by saying random words until she responded to something. Her new name is Miso, like the soup. Good thing she didn't respond to banana or table or something else.

Here she is (no, this is not portrait, it just turned out that way):

 This is Miso and Ivy having a staring contest. Ivy definitely won.

This is me and Miso sleeping.

I <3 her.

Rachel got an intestinal bug!

You may have seen it on the news or from the CDC. Here is more info on that nasty bug. (Symptoms include watery diarrhea, with frequent, sometimes explosive, bowel movements. Other common symptoms include loss of appetite, weight loss, stomach cramps/pain, bloating, increased gas, nausea, and fatigue. Vomiting, body aches, headache, fever, and other flu-like symptoms.) 

And here is Rachel's drawing of what it's like to have at work around coworkers:

She went to the ER last week and they re-hydrated her and gave her a bunch of antibiotics. She's finally starting to feel better.

We didn't get blown away by a windstorm!!

Last Friday we had some pretty strong gusts. I am happy to report that we did not tip over. Yes, this is something I googled when we first moved in.

And lastly, in case anyone was curious, we don't really miss any of our stuff in storage. We're looking to buy a house, but honestly, I'm dreading filling it with more things. But, since getting a home loan is IMPOSSIBLE evidently, we won't have to worry about that for a minute.

We have exceeded our initial 1-3 month time frame. I've gotten used to it, more or less. And Rachel can even take bath in the tiny "garden tub" (she's way more flexible than I am). But we've both decided we definitely don't want to spend Christmas in the RV. So, we'll see.

And Then I Freaked Out.

Sorry for the delay in updates. I had some stuff that required my full attention. Namely, my freaking out.

Remember in the beginning when someone in the Adventure Park office joked that Rachel and I liked each other *for now*? And remember how I said I might look back on that differently someday? Well, today is that day. That person was not a harmless maker of jokes. That person was clearly a sorceress of some kind and put a hex on us. Here's what happened.

We move in. We grossly overestimate the amount of things we can fit in the RV relative to the amount of space we now occupy. We try to live among boxes and get settled in. And then, there's you know, the other stuff about living with another person that takes up space. We have our relationship stresses and it turns out, when you put heretofore managed relationship stress into an RV full of boxes in Houston heat, completely out of my element, with a mini shower that only has 7 minutes of hot water, and cats confused and pooping on the floor, it acts exactly like an actual pressure cooker.

So, day 2, I lost my shit.

I went to stay on my bff's couch for a few days. When telling a very old friend that I was having some trouble adjusting and panicked he just laughed and said, "now there's the Tyler I know." I guess no one was very surprised at my freak out. During my time away, I actually googled things like, "RV + panic attacks", "RV full-time living + stress", "Full-time RV living realistic?". Validate me, Internet!! Certainly, I'm not the first person to panic from moving into an RV, right? Right?!?! Being inside the RV for any more than about 6 minutes sent me into full blown panic attacks. Rachel did not love this. We were on the trigger-reaction merry-go-round for a minute. It was not fun. I can write this today without sobbing uncontrollably because of my amazing support system...who all have the very specific talent of listening to me process ad naseum.

That, and Rachel is my own personal RV-living superhero. She cleaned, and organized, and decorated, and bought teal patio furniture (it's my favorite color). She played my meditation cds, did some fancy aromatherapy in the air conditioning system, and made the bed (tidy beds soothe me - what?). And was otherwise a trooper who made the best of it and gave me space and time to spaz out.

So, now I'm trying sleeping there. It's been 2 nights in a row. I even unpacked my escape bag. This morning we got up and had coffee in the hot tub before getting ready for work. The hot tub was overflowing with bubbles, btw. It was like a giant bubble bath!

So, I'll keep you updated. In the meantime, if there is anyone else out there trying to figure out if living in an RV full-time is for them, I will say this: get more organized than you ever thought humanly possible, then get rid of more stuff. Love being outside if you can. Aromatherapy is legit. Expect an adjustment period and have a contingency freak-out plan just in case. Become retired - getting ready for work in an RV is a pain in the ass. Oh, and learn to BBQ.

Next time: RV fancifying. Or, strategies for not losing my shit.

Done Moving & Creative Retribution

We survived.

We moved all of our stuff in 90 degree heat and humidity. Mostly into a 10x10 storage unit. But on day two of Project Streamline Life, we were so exhausted we actually decided to get a second storage unit for stuff we'd like to be able to access. Plus, Rachel may have died if she had to play any more tetris with our stuff. Our goal is to go through all of our belongings and continue to get rid of things.

• We gave away three boxes big of kitchen equipment to Brigid's Hope.
• Donated (my favorite) magazines to The Methodist Hospital Volunteer Services (they give them to patients).
• More clothes to Goodwill.
• I tried to give away a couch and chair, but someone ended up actually buying them - sweet!

But we still have too much damn stuff.

And then, there was this other thing...

So, let me just preface what I'm about to share with this: we're good people. We volunteer. Kids and animals like us. We go to church. We say please and thank you. We keep our commitments. We pre-bus our tables at restaurants.

Now let me also provide you some more context about our abrupt move. When we moved into the house, it was owned by a friend of mine. After we'd been living there for about 6 months he sold it to a guy we'll call George. We met George before he purchased it and he seemed like a pretty nice guy. When he became our new landlord he assured of two things repeatedly: 1.) He would not raise our rent ("I'm not that kind of guy!"), and 2.) He really wanted us to stay on as tenants ("I'm not here to kick anyone out - I really hope you guys stay!"). So immediately upon taking possession of the house, he raised our rent. Not cool, but whatever. Turns out, he also liked to play loud music above our bedroom, smoke a lot of pot, watch a lot of super loud movies, and had the friendly neighborhood cats (that everyone fed and that I caught and had fixed & vaccinated) picked up and euthanized. Rachel in particular does not take kindly to blatant lying or cat killing. In fact, she was pretty upset with him about that one, such that he became openly paranoid (lay off the weed, man!) that we would do something to harm his dog, even though we actually liked his dog way more than we like him. So, when he later decided that he wanted us to move out so that he could renovate, furnish, and lease our apartment to corporate short-term tenants for ridiculous amounts of money we were annoyed, but not entirely surprised. (Btw, his plan is a terrible one, but I will spare you the details as to why - just needed to get that out there.)

So yesterday, our last day to live in George, the dope-smoking cat hater's, house, while I was running around unloading/donating stuff somewhere across the greater Houston area and Rachel was finishing the last of our packing, she found time for a number of creative yet harmless outlets for her frustration. To really appreciate these you should know that George is both short & not at all mechanically inclined. Rachel is far more creative than I am and, as a parting gesture she:

• Unscrewed all the light bulbs...just enough for them to stay in, but not work
• Detached all the ceiling fan pulls and put them in a drawer
• Removed all of the window blind wands and put them on top of the window frames
• Unhooked the chain in the back of the toilet
• Unplugged the refrigerator
• Shut of the water on the bathroom sink 
• Scattered perfectly good, harmless dog bones throughout the yard and porch
• And finally, left our gate openers and keys on top of the fridge

This makes me feel both proud and nervous about ever making Rachel mad ;) 

So, we're living in a pile of chaos and boxes right now, but at least the heavy lifting is done and we got a little laugh/karmic justice.

Simple Food & The Tragic Lack of Picnic Cookbooks (or Heat & Smells)

The other day I posted about minimizing. I left off at food and asked what 3 things for breakfast and dinner you could eat over and over. Rachel and I had time to chew on it (get it?!) and we decided on these:

AM: 1) eggs, 2) peanut butter&banana toast, 3) cottage cheese/yogurt & fruit

PM: 1) curried tofu with veggies, 2) BBQ chicken salad, 3) Russian salad

(Actually, I can't remember what PM #3 we agreed on, but this one sounds good to me.)

All of these we already eat pretty frequently, aren't terrible for you, require little to no cooking or can be made in an electric skillet or on a grill outside. Because, here's the thing about your bed being about 9 feet from your stove top: smells. And here's the other thing about your kitchen being in the middle of your vast 26 foot space: heat. 

Heat and smells.  

Plus, Texas summers. Very limiting from a culinary perspective. So all of these are intended to address both issues. I'm looking forward to simpler grocery shopping, too. 

I'm also considering another approach: picnics. Since I imagine many of our meals will be taken outside, I envision dining al fresco. You know, like this...only less English estate-like and more RV-ish:

So, I set out to find cute picnic books/ideas. Can I just tell you how unimpressive the picnic book selection is?! Most people just think of a picnic as throwing a few things together that are easy to eat with your hands and won't spoil. But I think picnicking is a food genre of its own. It's at once glamorous and nostalgic. It suggests the luxury of repose. In my mind it's elegant. 

At any rate, we will have table cloths and twinkle lights :) I'm pretty excited about that.

P.S. My dear friend, Pama, just shared this vitally important video with me. The perfect scrambled egg:

The Philosophy of Minimalism

I heard from lots of you that you liked the idea of streamlining LIFE. It's something I've been playing around with a long time. When I stayed in Italy for a little while, I sold nearly all of my stuff and stored the rest (mostly books and kitchen stuff).

And that was it! I couldn't un-know the lightness of having few possessions.

Since then I have been reluctant to feel too weighed down by things. Which is not to say that I've managed to maintain a sort of minimalism. Rather, it means that I really feel the weight of thing-owning. And it's heavy, man. Rachel reminded me of this on Sunday when she played this song for me...and has since been calling me "little britches".

I used to work as a personal assistant/life-business organizer. I noticed the human impulse, when trying to organize/simplify (I use these almost synonymously because the first step in getting organized is always, in my experience, getting rid of stuff), was to first buy more things in order to organize your other things. Don't do that. It almost never works. Think about it: how many notebooks/planners/calendars/journals do you currently possess? How many of those have more than one page written in them? You bought those with the idea of organizing something, right? Your schedule, your time, your thoughts, your grocery lists, your inner life. So, no more notebooks - no matter how cute they are or how well organized their contents. Buying another WILL NOT make your more organized - it will make your stack of notebooks bigger.

You might be thinking, "Sheesh, Tyler, get off my ass." And you'd be right. Because I, too, own a stack of notebooks with one page written in each.

Here's where I've started with my life streamlining so far.



Clothes.
How much do you really need? One thing I noticed living in Rome, other than everyone being terribly stylish, was that they have tiny closets. Whaaaat?! How can you have tiny closets AND be terribly stylish you ask?! It's the whole quality over quantity equation. Buy ONE lovely pair of trousers and have them tailored to fit you perfectly, and they will the kick the asses of all those other pants you bought because they were on sale (or you didn't want to do laundry...yeah, I've done it). So, I started with my closet. I got rid of everything I didn't LOVE TO WEAR. This is a shift for me. Because it's one thing to love an article of clothing, but it's a very different thing to love to wear it, no? Sometimes I just love the idea of piece of clothing. It represents some evening I might have if my life was a certain way, or my body was a certain way. But, my life and my body are the way they are. Time to get rid of my fantasy clothes for playing dress up in my imaginary life. A life in which I have abs.

Editor's Note/Confession: I'm a little chubbier right now than usual. More than I'm comfortable being. Which means some of the clothes I would love to wear, I can't. So, I'm boxing those up and storing them instead of getting rid of them. Call it a vote a confidence. 

Here are some resources I found helpful:

http://www.idreamofclean.net/2013/05/04/the-path-to-a-minimalist-wardrobe/

http://intentionallysimple.com/a-minimal-wardrobe/

http://theproject333.com/about/

http://www.realsimple.com/beauty-fashion/clothing/wardrobe-basics/wardrobe-basics-checklist-00000000000952/index.html

I donated a big box of clothes, threw some away, stored others that were out of season or currently too small. But, thanks to my good friend Tiffany, I boxed up the nicer stuff from the "right" brands and sold it to these people. A good thing to keep in mind when pairing down wardrobes.



Next on the chopping block:
Books.
For me books are really hard to let go of. When I try to figure out why, I tend to wax a little philosophical. First, I'm kind of nerdy. I appreciate books for preserving oceans of human knowledge and experience. Just their existence makes me feel better about being human. I like the way they smell. I LOVE libraries. For me, books = civilization. So there's that. Then there's this much more insidious and egotistical reason why I hang on to books: I like what they say about me. Namely, "I'm smarter than you. See? Check out my bookshelf. It is both voluminous AND impressive/intimidating." Yuck. And so, I got rid of books. I picked up each one and I asked myself, "Do I own this because I love it or because I like what I think it says about me?" If the latter, it went in the to-sell box.

Another Note/Confession: with all of my pompousness, I dropped my ego into a large-ish box one book at a time and took it to Half Price Books. Want to know how much all my I'm-smarter-than-you fodder was worth? SEVEN DOLLARS. HA! $7. 

I particularly appreciated this essay about the two schools of thought on cultivating book shelves. Essentially, "The first views the bookshelf as a self-portrait, a reflection of the owner’s intellect, imagination, taste and accomplishments... The other approach views a book collection less as a testimony to the past than as a repository for the future; it’s where you put the books you intend to read."  I took a hybrid approach. I kept the books that I've read, but will actually reference since I do actually do that sometimes...keeping in mind the things that I would or could more likely reference online (goodbye giant hardback Oxford Dictionary). I also kept my "desert island" books. The ones I've read over and over and will continue to read. And the ones I will actually read. I suspect that my reference and to-read collections can and will diminish over time. But I'm not there yet.

Here are some other resources:

http://www.becomingminimalist.com/breaking-the-sentimental-attachment-to-books/

http://www.theminimalists.com/reading/



I'll probably write more on this. Like I said, it started out as, "Holy shit! We have to live in 216 square feet!?!" And has become, "Remember how light it feels not to be weighed down by things?"

The other thing I'm thinking about that I'd love to hear your thoughts on:
Food.

If you could only eat 3 things for breakfast and 3 things for dinner every day for three months, what would they be? 

It occurs to me that a tiny pantry, a tiny refrigerator, and a tiny stove/oven will more easily lend itself to simple foods often repeated. More on that later.

One Of Us

Longest 3-day weekend ever. Here's Rachel's facebook status about our Sunday adventures:

Mission "Hook Up RV" failed. I got bit on the ass by several ants while crawling around. Then a Black Widow jumped on my hand while I was hooking up the holding tank hose. When Tyler started freaking out about me blowing up the holding tank...I aborted the mission. Oh and the electrical box is full of wasps. And the battery box is full of spider cocoons or whatever. Probably more black widows. And I nearly decapitated myself on the overhang of the fifth wheel. Upon surrendering, I recalled seeing a coupon from Camping World for 50% off RV orientation...which shall be tomorrow's mission. I shall bring gloves and bug spray. Btw...wd40 has to effect on Black Widows. It makes them faster. Pliers work well though. I'm going to faint. 

We now have a request for video posts...

So, we ran into a few bumps getting things up and running. We admitted our defeat and went home and ate fried chicken to comfort ourselves...which actually ended up leading to antacid instead of comfort.

Double fail.

Before we left though, Rachel sent me to the Adventure Park office to seek assistance/guidance. I told the lady in the office (the one with the helpful lists) about our seasickness issue. Her advice: people around here are pretty helpful, I bet someone around will help you out - that's RV culture. I said, "Yeah, I hear that about RV folks". To which she was quick to reply with a smile, "well, you're one of us now". So we are office-lady...so we are.

We came up with a rebound plan. Rachel called the RV repair people to help us fix our mangled stabilizers. (Note: these are super important. Without them working properly, being inside the RV for any length of time leads to inexplicable seasickness.) As the second phase of this plan she instructed me to put my "face on", wear a tank top and shorts, and go meet said RV repair people. They checked out the necessary repairs and I managed to sneak in a free RV orientation at the same time - we're functional! I even peed in the toilet!

Turns out we're not even as clueless as we thought we were!

I should probably admit that while we felt very accomplished this weekend, we didn't actually manage to pack anything. I have this idea that instead of just packing stuff and storing it, we should use this opportunity to get rid of things. Prioritize our possessions. Minimize. It's not just about putting stuff in boxes, it's about asking what are the things we really need...and what's just extra? I'm a big nerd, so I actually have been doing some reading on it. If anyone is nerdy like me, I'll likely post my "research".

Maybe this isn't just about living in a RV...maybe it's about streamlining LIFE. Maybe?